ATOM BOMB :- An invention to end all inventions.
BOSS :- Some one who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
CIGARETTE :- A pinch of tobacco rolled in a paper with fire at one end a fool at the other end.
CLASSIC :- A book which everyone praise but do not read.
COLLEGE :- A place where some pursue learning and others learn persuing.
COMMITTEE :- Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
COMPROMISE :- The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
CONFERENCE :- A confusion of one man multipied by the number present.
CONFERENCE ROOM :- A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
CRIMINAL :- A person no different from the rest except that he/she got caught.
DICTIONARY :- A place where divorse comes before marriage.
DIVORSE :- Future tense of marriage.
DOCTOR :- A person who kill your ills by pills and kills you with his bills.
ETC. :- A sign to make others belive that you know more than you actully do.
EXPERIENCE :- The name people give to their mistakes.
FATHER :- A banker provided by nature.
FLERTING :- An arrow which brakes after hitting your heart.
GIRL FRIEND :- Addition of problems , subtraction of money , multiplication of enemies and division of friends .
LECTURE :- An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the mind.
LIFE INSURANCE :- A contract that keeps you poor all your life, so that you can die rich.
LOVE AFFAIRS :- Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
MARRIAGE :- It is an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor digree and a woman gains her master.
MISER :- A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
OFFICE :- A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
OPPERTUNIST :- A person who starts taking bath if he accidently falls into a river.
OPTIMIST :- A person who while falling from EFFIL TOWER says in midway " See I am not injured yet ".
PESSIMENT :- A person who says that 'O' is the last letter in ZERO instead the first letter in OPPERTUNITY.
PHILOSHOPHER :- A fool who torments himself during his life , to be spoken of when dead.
PLANNING :- The art of putting off until tomorrow , what you have no intension of doing today.
POLITICIAN :- A person who sacrifices your life for his country. In other words we can say that a person who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence later.
PROFESSOR :- A person who talks in your sleep.
PROVERB :- A short sentence based on long experience.
SMILE :- A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
TEARS :- The hydrolic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.
TONGUE :- The deadliest of all blunt instrumeants.
TRUE LOVE :- An arrow which passes through your heart without breaking.
VALENTINE :- A person who is always well in time.
YAWN :- The only time when married men ever got ot open their mouth . in other words we can say that its a silent shout.
RED YELLOW BLUE
I LIKE BLUE
DON'T GET EXCITED
I LIKE MONKEYS TOO
ROSES ARE RED
LINCOLN IS DEAD
HIS COFFIN IS EMPTY
AND SO IS YOUR HEAD
THIS MESSAGE WILL REFRESH
YOUR BRAIN IN 5 SECONDS
5.....4.....3.....2.....1.....
ERROR : NO BRAIN DETECTED
ON MARRIAGE EVERY WIFE
TREATS HER HUSBAND AS GOD
BUT LATER ON
THE ALPHABETS ARE REVERSED
GOD CREATED THE EARTH
GOD CREATED WOODS
GOD CREATED YOU TOO
BUT , YES EVEN GOD TO MAKES MISTAKE
FALLING IN LOVE IS A SWEET AMBITION
FINDING TRUE LOVE IS A LIFE TIME MISSION
TAKE MY WORD , FOLLOW THE INDIAN TRADION
AND MARRY YOU DAD'S DECESION
INTELLIGENT MAN + INTELLIGENT WOMAN = ROMANCE
INTELLIGENT MAN + STUPID WOMEN = PREGNANCY
STUPID MAN + INTELLIGENT WOMAN = AFFAIR
STUPID MAN + STUPID WOMAN = MARRIAGE
IF I NEED BRAIN TRANSPLANTATION
I WILL PREFER YOUR BRAIN
DON'T THINK YOU ARE GENIUS
I WANT A BRAIN
WHICH WAS NEVER USED BEFORE
YOUR NETWORK TARIFF HAS CHANGED
CALL CHARGES ARE NOW CALCULATED
ACCORDING TO BRAIN SIZE
THE SMALLER THE CHEAPER ..............
YOU CAN MAKE FREE CALL
I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU
AND I FEEL IT IS BEST IF I TELL YOU
BEFORE YOU HEAR IT FROM SOMEONE ELSE
PETROL PRICES HAVE GONE UP !
IN 83 % CASES
MARRIAGE IS THE BEST WAY
TO AVOID SUICIDE
BUT IN 100 % CASES
SUICIDE IS THE BEST WAY
TO AVOID MARRIAGE
BIRDS LOVE YOU
MONKEY'S LOVE YOU
DONKEY'S LOVE YOU
TIGERS LOVE YOU
GO BACK TO THE ZOO
THEY ALL ARE MISSING YOU
TODAY TOMORROW AND FOREVER
THERE WILL BE A HEART
THAT WILL ALWAYS BEAT FOR YOU
YOU KNOW WHOSE ?
GUESS ???
IT IS YOUR OWN HEART
COULD YOU FAX ME YOUR PHOTO
ITS VERY VERY VERY URGENT ????
MIND YOU . ITS REALLY VERY VERY URGENT
DAMN SERIOUS AND VERY IMPORTANT .........
I AM PLAYING CARDS
AND WE HAVE MISPLACED THE JOKER
THIS IS NOT FAIR !
HOW COULD YOU DO THIS ?
DIDN'T EXPECT THIS FROM YOU
GOT A WHOLE CHANNEL ON YOUR NAME
AND DIDN'T TELL ME ?
ANIMAL PLANET
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS SO SMART
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS SO CHARMING
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS SO CARING
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS SO BEAUTIFUL
AND I AM THE ONE
WHO IS SPREADING THESE RUMORS
GOOD LOOKS CATCH THE EYES
BUT GOOD PERSONALITIES CATCHES THE HEART
YOU ARE BLEESED WITH BOTH !
FLATTERED ??????
DON'T BE , IT WAS MAILED TO ME
I JUST WANTED YOU TO READ IT
GOOD MORNING ...........
HAVE YOU DONE
TWO MOST IMPORTANT THINGS
WHEN YOU WAKE UP TODAY ?
1 ) PRAYED , SO THAT YOU MAY LIVE
2 ) TOOK A BATH SO THAT OTHERS MAY LIVE TOO
WHAT IS TRUE FRIENDSHIP ?
YOU CRY AND I CRY
YOU SAD AND I SAD
YOU LAUGHING AND I LAUGHING
YOU JUMP OUT OF THE WINDOW ...........
I LOOK DOWN
I AM STILL LAUGHING
GALILEO : GREAT MIND
EINSTEIN : GENIUS MIND
NEWTON : EXTRA ORDINARY MIND
BILL GATES : BRILLIANT MIND
ME : MASTER MIND
YOU : NO MIND
ANOTHER MONTH ANOTHER YEAR
ANOTHER SMILE ANOTHER TEAR
ANOTHER WINTER A SUMMER TOO
BUT THERE CAN NEVER BE
ANOTHER LIKE YOU
BECAUSE GOD DOESN'T MAKE
A SAME MISTAKE TWICE
FROM MONADY TO SUNDAY
FROM JANUARY TO DECEMBER
FROM BIRTH TILL MY DEATH
MY FEELINGS FOR YOU
HAVE NEVER CHANGED
FOR ME , YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ................
A SEVERE HEADACHE
ONCE GOD CAME UP TO ME
AND GRANTED ME A WISH
I ASKED FOR " WORLD PEACE "
HE SAID THAT THATS IMPOSSIBLE
THEN I ASKED HIM
TO GIVE YOU BRAIN
HE SAID " LET ME TRY WORLD PEACE "
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
THATS BECAUSE MENKA GANDHI SAYS
" LOVE ANIMALS "
LIFE WITHOUT YOU IS IMPOSSIBLE
YOU ARE IN MY BLOOD
I CANNOT STAY FOR A SECOND
WITHOUT YOU
IF YOU ARE NOT THERE
I AM DEAD
EXCUSE ME , I AM TALKING OF OXYGEN
IF YOU HIDE , I WILL SEEK YOU
IF YOU ARE LOST , I WILL SERCH FOR YOU
IF YOU WILL LEAVE , I WILL WAIT FOR YOU
IF DAYS TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME
I WILL FIGHT FOR YOU
BUT , IF YOU STOP MAILING ME
I WILL KILL YOU
CAN U PRONOUNCE GOOD ENGLISH
READ ALOUD
WOOF , ROOF , LOOF , SHOOF , SHOOF , WOOF ,
LOOF , ROOF , POOF , WOOF , WOOF , HOOF ,
WOOF , ROOF , SHOOF ,
TEST RESULTS : YOU ARE A GOOD DOG
AND NOW STOP BARKING
GOOD PERSON : IT IS YOU
GOOD FRIEND : IT IS YOU
GOOD HEART : IT IS YOURS
GOOD SOUL : IT IS AGAIN YOURS
GOOD LOOKING ??????????
OHH ! HOLD IT
IT IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU
NOW ITS ME DEAR
I LOVE " U "
I LOVE " U "
I LOVE " U "
I LOVE " U "
I LOVE " U "
I LOVE " U "
HEY !! DON'T GET EXCITED
I LOVE OTHER ALPHABETS TOOO ......
YOU ARE 100 % INTELLIGENT
YOU ARE 100 % ACHIEVER
YOU ARE 100 % SWEET
YOU ARE 100 % LUCKY
YOU ARE 100 % NICE
BUT! YOU ARE 100% FOOL
TO BELIEVE ALL THESE WORDS
YOUR BRAIN IS A MASTERPIECE
IT IS DIVIDED INTO TWO PARTS
LEFT AND RIGHT
IN LEFT SIDE
THERE IS NOTHING RIGHT
AND IN THE RIGHT SIDE
THERE IS NOTHING LEFT
WHEN YOU FEEL SAD
TO CHEER UP YOURSELF
JUST GO TO THE MIRROR
AND SAY .................................
DAMN I AM REALLY SO CUTE
YOU WILL OVERCOME YOUR SADNESS
BUT DON'T MAKE IT A HABBIT
BECAUSE LIARS GO TO HELL !!!!
THIS CAT , IS CAT ,
A CAT , GOOD CAT ,
WAY CAT , TO CAT ,
KEEP CAT , AN CAT ,
IDIOT CAT , BUSY CAT ,
FOR CAT , 20 CAT ,
SECONDS CAT !!!!!!!!
NOW READ IT WITHOUT THE WORD CAT .
SEE THE SKY
YOU WILL SEE GOD'S GRAVE
SEE THE RAIN
YOU WILL DANCE ONCE AGAIN
SEE THE MOON
YOU WILL SEE THE DEPTH OF LAKE
SEE THE MIRROR
YOU WILL SEE GOD'S BIGGEST MISTAKE
YOU BEAUTIFUL
YOU INTELLIGENT
YOU ACHIEVER
YOU SWEET
YOU AMAZING
YOU PERFECT
YOU LUCKY
YOU NICE
BUT ME A LIAR
A SHEDULE OF A BACHLOR
ON MONDAY FRIENDSHIP
ON TUESDAY LOVE
ON WEDNESDAY MARRIAGE
ON THURSDAY RUINED
ON FRIDAY FIGHT
ON SATURDAY DIVORSE
ON SUNDAY REST
ON MONDAY NEXT
NEVER KISS A POLICE WOMAN
SHE WILL SAY
" STOP ! HANDS UP "
NEVER KISS A NURSE
SHE WILL SAY
" YES ! NEXT PLEASE ! "
SO ALWAYS KISS A LADY TEACHER
SHE WILL SAY
" REPEAT FIVE TIMES "
ONE DAY YOU WILL BE SURPRISED
TO SEE ME BESIDE YOU
YOU AND ME LAUGHING TOGETHER
YOU AND ME CRYING
YOU AND ME DREAMING
YOU AND ME HOLDING ON
YOU AND ME ................
SITTING IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL
AND ME CHECKING YOU
THE ANIMALS OF A JUNGLE
DECIDED TO HOLD A MEETING
THE LION HAS COME
THE ELEPHANT HAS COME
THE MONKEY HAS COME
BUT THE MEETING HASN'T STARTED
GUESS WHY ??????
BECAUSE THE DONKEY IS BUSY
READING THIS MAIL
TO LIVE A LIFE
ONE NEEDS BRAINS
REFLEX , PERFECTION , LOOKS,
IQ , KNOWLEDGE
WAY OF EXPRESSION
AND MANY MORE
MENTAL QUALITIES
SALUTE TO YOU
BECAUSE YOU MANAGE
TO LIVE WITHOUT ALL OF THEM
IF YOU SAVE THIS MAIL
IT MEANS I AM CUTE
IF YOU EDIT THIS MAIL
I AM STILL CUTE
IF YOU FORWARD THIS MAIL
YOU ARE STILL SPREADING THAT
I AM VERY CUTE
AND IF YOU DELETE THIS MAIL
YOU ARE JEALOUS OF ME
BECAUSE I AM VERY CUTE
A - YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE
B - YOU ARE BEST
C - YOU ARE CUTE
D - YOU ARE DEAR TO ME
E - YOU ARE EXCELLENT
F - YOU ARE FUNNY
G - YOU ARE GOOD LOOKING
H - HEHEHEEHEEHEHEHEHEHE
I - I AM
J - JUST
K - KIDDING